2020 has been a year of many changes, reflection, and the reality of the temporalness of life. For many of us, we often blur work-life balance or lost intentionality in friendship. It seems the more time we have, the more we lose the discipline to make the most of our time.

No longer driving to Jakarta each morning has freed up 3 hours of my usual morning rush. Originally wanting to do devotions with the freed time, I end up always waking up late and filled my morning with meetings. The busier I get, the more I abandon my spiritual lives and time with God.

When spiritual discipline went out the door, I no longer am able to lead my team in a Christlike manner. The stress of running the startup affects my mood and my treatment of my direct reports. How could others see the God-in-Us when I am not seeking the God-in-us? I am to do business as missions, yet I couldn’t even have the patience for weekly 1x1s. I am to use my business to introduce God’s love, yet I am not sitting at Jesus’ feet to bask in His love.

There is a leadership trap. Others look at your good deed and think your soul is fine, while it is left unchecked. You yourselves justify that your business in “doing God’s work” is more important than spending time with God. As if God needs your work to bring about change.

The Crumbled Wall

Your lives are like walls, continually before me. - Isa 49:16

What the walls were to Jerusalem, our lives are before God.

I think the walls of our lives are often in ruin through neglect. It all begin very slowly. First, there was a loose piece of stone or mortar. Then there was a crack that appeared, and then it broke into pieces, and there was a hole. Bit by bit, the weeds begin to grow through the wall and the hole keeps getting bigger until it comes to shambles. This gives ground for the enemy to gain access to our lives.

In our lack of spiritual discipline, we become less reliant on God and take up more burden on ourselves. The load becomes overwhelming, we aren’t able to see God’s hand, and gratitude goes out the door.

We don’t have to look far. Recent news of the downfall of Hipster Celebrity pastor, Carl Lentz and the apologetics giant, Ravi Zacharias, both on sexual unfaithfulness. At its worse, they turn people away from Jesus and the faith. At best, it discredits all the years the preacher has had on building his career. 

How can we still be tender before God even when we are of high worth in man’s eye?

“The better the man, the better the preacher. When he kneels by the bed of the dying or when he mounts the pulpit stairs, then every self-denial he has made, every Christian forbearance he has shown, every resistance to sin and temptation, will come back to him to strengthen his arm adn give conviction to his voice. Likewise every evasion fo duty, every indulgence of self, every compromise with evil, every unworthy thought, word, or deed, will be there at the head of the pulpit stairs to meet the minister on Sunday morning, to take the light from his eye, the power from his blow, the ring from his voice, and the joy from his heart.

- Clarence Mcartney, Preaching without Notes

Perhaps you are involved right now in the beginning of foundational cracks. The window of finance in your life are not closing too well. The doors of discipline have been left ajar. The floor of integrity is starting to crack. It is easy to rationalize the truth and to ignore the painful realities of compromise.

We can either move full steam ahead and make a great impact for God someday or you will stumble upon yourself and you will become your own greatest threat. So we guard our walls.

Ask the Holy Spirit to start the work of reconstruction of your wall. He tries His best to bring our attention to the condition of our walls, but sometimes we don’t’ hear what He is saying, because we do not listen. Here are 3 ways to rebuild your walls:

1. Evaluation

What is the condition of your heart? Have you fallen into the world’s ways like Lot did that no one believe you are of Christ? The world lives by its level of hierarchy. Have you forgotten that battles are won on your knees instead of elbowing your way in? Have you let the way the world brands you that you begin to compromise God’s truth and God’s way?

it only took one small thing, for the whole building to tumble down. Such as from selfishness, lack of discipline, procrastination, immorality, no time for God, compromise, and rebellion have come and sowed their ugly seeds.

I use glasses. One eye is far-sighted; the other is short-sighted. I read upon the writing of Gordon T. Smith and reflected on how we leaders often fall into one spectrum or the other.

Do we not long to be people who have clarity of vision and purpose, and a clear sense of who we are and what we are called to do? But do we not also long to be people of compassion, who without pretense or posturing engage with care the lives of others? Some, of course, are so clear about their call that they are often ignorant of the real and immediate needs of the people around them. Others are like sponges, uncritically and responding to the needs around them, but with little sense of purpose. - Gordon T.Smith in Courage and Calling

In both cases, what really drives them is ego--first, a desire for accomplishment; Second, a desire to be needed. How can we be both people of purpose, with clarity of vocation, as well as people of compassion?

Let’s come to Him as Nehemiah did,

“O Lord I beseech Thee, may Thine ear be attentive to the prayer fo Thy servant and the prayer of Thy servants who delight to revere Thy name.” - Nehemiah 1:11

2. Reconstruction

The neglected heart will erode the wall little by little and be overtaken by the world, and chaos will prevail. Prolonged personal sins take a heavy toll on God’s work in your life. And you’ve heard cases of Megachurch pastors or respectable business leaders falling into its trap.

“Well you know, I just have a temper issue. I get mad easily and there’s nothing to do about it”

“I am so exhausted and I occasionally let myself go through some movie. It’s not as bad as my friends’.”

“Well, I am just borrowing the non-profit’s money, I will give it back. I always do. It’s not big of a deal.”

Reconstruction is hard work. Our heart is deceitful. A sin is a sin is a sin. Painful and long nad expensive as the process may be, you cannot afford to skirt the issue any longer. Face it head on. Claim the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit to correct and work in you. Come into prayer, an honest reflection before God of your need for Him. Only He can make us willing. and only He can begin the work of rebuilding.

3. Perseverance

When good works is being done and you try to stand up for something, the enemy will get in the way to bring you down. There will be opposition. People may mock you, scorn at you or betray you, as they did Nehemiah.

For Hudson Taylor, a missionary in China, in his 20 years of serving in China, there was never a day when he wasn’t found on his bed kneeling in prayer for China.

We stand firm to persevere by putting on our spiritual armor. Give each day as an act of worship to God. Start it with God and whatever you do from answering email to mentoring your team, persevere as unto the Lord. Your work is worship.

Advancement can bring a host of difficulties: a false sense of pride, the temptation to take advance of privileges, a battle with status quo, and an inclination to walk over people who are under our authority.

May we speak as Nehemiah did, “I didn’t do so because of the fear of God.”  His relationship to the Lord was so unshakable that when temptation comes, “My accountability to my Lord is the guiding point of my life. I fear Him too much to indulge myself.”

Guard your calling with a holy and sacred trust. And commit it afresh daily. When you keep close account to God, His good hands will be upon you

Rebuilding the Wall

So I asked God.

God hand me another brick. Rebuild my walls. as the wall is to Jerusalem, make me to you. Give me the brick of faith. Another brick of wisdom and a willing spirit. and let the Holy spirit tighten the brick to one another.

Yes your work is busy. And it is tiring. We go to cheap entertainment when we are. But how much better when we go to God to refresh our souls. One of my mentor told me, ”Tamara,you are so blessed, diberi kesempatan utk melayani pekerjaanNYA.. Dan PekerjaanNYA selalu membutuhkan mujizatNYA.” She said, doing God’s work needed God’s miracle. Cling to Jesus.

He is the builder.

He is the Master planner.

My part is to obey. He builds me brick by brick.

Ever so gently, ever so patiently.

Till I become more like HIm.

I lay it all down, trusting His construction.

It is my heart he is building. To be refined as of gold.

One day I trust, the building will be steady.

Build upon the Rock, the solid rock of ages.

None can compare to the plan He is building,

farther than any I could dream of myself.

So I seek, to daily live.

with the builder, the King of Kings.

And with Him, my ground is unshakable.

X,

Tam