“Am I a failure that I didn’t win the title ‘Miss Indonesia’?”, “Am I a failure that I didn’t get chosen as an Indonesian delegate to the Y20 Summit?” These were questions that lingered within as I processed the so-called “failures”.

The world tells us “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars”. Still, it stinks every time we fail to meet expectations doesn’t it? Here are things that failures can teach us.

1. Humility

I hate  to admit it.. but “failing” to win 1st place and not being accepted as a delegate, remind me there are others whose skills are better than mine. Holding myself to a standard of perfection, I had to learn I don’t have to win “firsts” or be best in everything. What I can do however, is to humble myself and accept my limitation. Part of being human is this process of learning and re-learning. Like my friend Sharon said, be like a trampoline, what matters is to bounce back up.

We live in a world where self-actualization is the goal--to find one self, to please one self, and to live for one self. Perhaps it is this accumulation of “I’s” that crushes us when we fail. Failures teaches us that we are not the centre of the universe. Instead, it puts a proper perspective that God has distributed his gifts equally to all of us. And in each, the image of God is to be celebrated. This keeps us from coveting others’ lot, nor despising our own lot.

2. Our True Worth

What weighs on me when I fail to achieve a benchmark I have for myself, is feeling like I’ve disappointed those around me (which, often this isn’t what others actually feel!) The wounds of failures should remind us to not equate our self-worth with our achievements. What will it make then about people who are disabled and cannot contribute to society? Our true worth comes from embracing what God has bestowed on us rather than what we can do for God or others. We are simply responding in obedience to what He is showing, lest we glorify the gifts than the Giver Himself.

3. The One True Satisfier

Lastly, the ache that comes from falling short of our potential and dream should point us to the world hereafter. In this world, no amount of success nor approval can truly satisfy. This can only mean our Home is not here. This frees us valuing what the world values. In fact, what the world values might be the opposite of what God values. He delights in a gentle and quiet spirit; He looks for more Mary’s who would sit at his feet and make their home in Him.

So Let our boasts simply be in knowing the Giver of good gifts. Know that  you are undeserving and that every good gifts comes from Above. Even the failures are reminders to abide closer to Life Himself. Friends, meekness is the best soil for the Lord to plant seeds that will grow fruitful. Our part is to say, “Yes and Amen” to the sovereign hand of the Maker of heaven and earth.  

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God, free us from this sense of entitlement. Forgive us for trying to control the end. Let only our witness be faithful as we leave the outcome to you. We’ve failed to see that it’s about worship first and service second. You delight not in what the world delights--not the pride of life, the lust of the flesh, nor the lust of the eye. As we fix our eyes on you, show us that you are truly the One who holds all things together.

X,

Tam