This week I made a mistake that was costly to my company. It has been a week where the day seems never “done.” Did I ever imagine this is what “attempting to change the world” feels like?”

The work is certainly rewarding, though it is hard work. Not that it is difficult because God calls me to do things I am not equipped for — rather He has been kind to sharpen the gifts in me—, it is hard because it is tiring. God does equip me, but there are definitely days where things are overwhelming.

I’ve been thinking, “Why do I enjoy being an entrepreneur?”

Aside from the fact I cannot unsee an injustice being done, I enjoy it because I get to create. I get to build. I get to see vision turn to reality.

In our ability to create, we mirror God’s creativity as the Creator. Entrepreneurs are builders too. It is rewarding to till the land God has purposed us for.

What often goes wrong as a Christian entrepreneur is when we start to link our worth with our work. That’s when we stop becoming the entrepreneur we are called to be—for we do not separate our own agenda with the mission for a better world.

So I took a day off, setting a rhythm where Jesus overrides all my agenda. I was struggling and I confessed, “God I made a mistake. I had made decisions without consulting you.”

It did hurt to make a mistake. Going to God gave me the strength to come out honest to my client about my mistake. My offering and interaction at work are not for any other audience, but for God alone.

LOOKING BACK, HOW HE PREPARED ME

If God didn’t humble me back in college by asking me, “Will you be okay if I don’t make you somebody?”  I would care so much about what success in the world’s eyes that the weight of clinging on to that status will crush me. 

If I didn't go through a season of hiddenness and pruning, of knowing who God calls me to “be” before I “do”, I would not be able to take on this amount of responsibility. Growing up insecure, If God didn’t tell me my worth is separate from my action, I would beat myself up for making mistakes. In a similar way, He too has prepared me, to treat my team member as persons-first. Not just asking “How are you” to ensure her/his performance. 

A lot of people glorify being a leader. Yet leadership is a sacrifice. It’s not to boss people around. You coach them, you grow with them, you are handed a responsibility to grow their God-given calling. It may be your skill that gets you to lead, but it’s your character that keeps you there. In my case, it’s being fully surrendering to Jesus to keep me where I am at. 

So be faithful to the small steps. of obedience. of excellence. of service. For in due time, you will reap the bigger field God has called you to. When I say ‘big’, it may not be what your eyes perceive, but it is always the bigger responsibility to win souls and hearts in God’s kingdom.

My Dear Lord,

I can but tell Thee that Thou knowest I long for nothing but Thyself,

Nothing but holiness,

Nothing but union with thy will.

Thou hast given me these desires, and thou alone can't give me the thing desired.

What a blessedness to be like Thee

as much as it is possible for a creature to be like its Creator.

Blessed Lord,

Let me climb up near to Thee

and love, and long, and plead, and wrestle with Thee,

and pant for deliverance from the body of sin,

for my heart is wandering and lifeless,

and my soul mourns to think it should ever lose sight of its Beloved.

Wrap my life in divine love, and keep me ever desiring Thee,

always humble and resigned to Thy will,

more fixed on Thyself, 

that I may be more fitted for doing and suffering. 

- Longings after God, Valley of Vision

X,

Tamara