We only have 1 more month of runway for our feeding program which feeds 200 refugee families per week.

We are budget-strapped & struggling to keep sponsoring the children’s education.

The non-profit sector is hit really hard during this pandemic, as a lot of donation has come nearly to a halt. For Second Chance Initiative, a non-profit organization I get to lead for 7 years, we were not immune.

Last year November, we were also about to close our doors. When a fundraiser opportunity came up and amazingly USD18,000 was raised to sustain our yearly operations. It was a Christmas miracle. Truly what Hudson Taylor has said is true.

The project was started with faith and sustained with faith. But there comes a time of doubt and confusion on what’s next. This is that time for me..

I have found inspiration in faith giant like Amy Carmichael, a missionary whom God has used to rescue temple children from horrendous child abuse practices in India. Minor girls would sit in the temple bare-chested while being worshiped. When they are 12 years old, they would serve the physical desire of the temple male priests. Parents who had nothing often had to sell their children in return for money. Dohnavur, the center Amy build, had 500 children living there—some were abandoned as babies and some were simply handed over because they were very ill or had a physical impairment. Here are 3 lessons I gleaned from her life of faith (which I deemed to be true myself).

1. Carried by the Lord, Prayer as the Core

From an outsider’s perspective, Amy’s life was filled with crisis after crisis. Post the death of her mentor, Amy’s mother died. A few days before her death, her last letter to Amy said, ‘You are being carried along in God’s almighty protecting arms of love and care.’

Often times that is how I felt, “I have been carried by the Lord.” In managing the emergencies of the day, and even in the decisions I needed to make. Some days I get calls about abused women who needed legal hel, some days I get bogged down by the misunderstanding amongst partners and our managers.

For Amy, on her day to day, she took care of and taught these little ones. Often all night long too for the sick children. It must have been days of utter exhaustion. Though this is the case, nowhere in her biography was mentioned, this unselfishness was done in an irritable and rude manner. No one would have thought there was any need for hurry at all. She gave them all her full attention and love. When asked, she made it clear:

Prayer is the core of our day, without it, the day would collapse

The love within the mission sisters of Dohnavour was only possible if they were close to the God of love, which most times I am not. In my leadership position, when I am not connected to the God of love, I can give—-but without love, it might drive people away. And what good is giving, when its devoid of love? For God loves a cheerful giver. He looks at the heart more than what He finds our hands to do.

Though in utter exhaustion, we can still have the strength to do His will—with prayer as the core. Upon this steadfast faith, as to understand and see..the Lord will carry us.

2. Exactly where God wants us to be: Has He failed Us Yet?

After her mother’s visit to Donhnavour, she reminded Amy: Amy was exactly where God has her to be. She could almost be one of the Indians, wearing her sari.

When Amy was younger, she dreaded that her eyes were not blue like her mom nor the Europeans kids in her school. Amy used to pray God would get rid of her brown eyes and have them turned to blue. When she woke up the next morning and her eye was still brown, she would fret. Then it was Amy’s dad who explained, “God sometimes says “no” to our prayers and that his decisions are for our good.” It wasn’t until Amy was in India that she understood why she had brown eyes. For blue eyes would have given her away that she’s a foreigner, resticting her from being able to rescue the temple children.

For me, since a young age, I have darker skin in the family and my liking was very non-traditional Chinese Indonesian family. Many people liked to compare why my skin wasn’t as bright as my sisters. Through they years, it serves as a safety for me when I go to the slum areas to do my work. I am exactly how and where God wants me to be. There may be part of your story or your physical condition that you resent at the moment. Just like Amy’s story, find encouragement that it will all make sense in the grander picture God is weaving in your lives. Has He ever failed you yet?

3. Rich in God, Faithful to His Call

A lot of the times, the giving to sustain my non-profit comes from my personal money. There were many instances when strangers randomly text and ask us to pay for their rents, daily food, or baby diapers. I find myself asking God, "Why are you asking me to give something I myself need at times?”. There are moments I wished I had more in life, especially on days when I don’t have a lot to give.

And people might see it silly that I am giving so much, “What are you going to do with all those people in the future?”

I just offer up what the Lord has given me. And what I believe He has called me to do. Because though God was rich became poor, so that through His poverty, we may become rich. I could never unsee the injustices I have seen for the people we serve. And I cling to God’s promise: “You will be made rich in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God” (2 Cor 9:11).

And isn’t this call to the life of faith is to walk by faith and not by sight?

I am rich in Jesus. His friendship, his love, his beauty. And though financially our non-profit only have 1 month of runway left, I can still give of my time, my energy, and my prayer to still do what He calls me.

For Jesus had said, whoever is faithful with the little, will be entrusted with much. And today is our training ground, for what is to come— that is for the good works the Lord has prepared even before we were born (Eph 2:10)

”We rest our hearts upon God, leaving what we do not know or understand to his love. That love has led me always in my life. The peace of God stays with me.” Amy said after another passing of her strong support, Mr. Walker.

Fret not.
Nor let your hearts be troubled.
Nor let it be afraid.

Wherever you are, may you be found faithful,

Tam