This may be my most raw prayer before the Lord on the topic of my heart desires.
Written: 29 May 2024
After I moved to my first house that I fully decorated and lived alone.
—
Lord, you know my desire to have a home since I had none from little.
I came back after work, tired, to an empty home.
I wanted to have someone I come home to.
Where I feel protected, seen & cared for.
There comes an age where the work travels gets tiring,
and my desire has changed to want to build and grow my roots instead.
To have a partner for life & have my own children to love.
And you told me to wait, because you have me work to do in this season…
You told me to be patient.
I can trust Your word because I had rushed in the past, and I got hurt.
I know I don’t know better than You; and You have the best in store for me.
Now that I have a house which I hope to turn into a home, filling it with warmth & joy.
I ask, You take the desire Lord for how much I want a partner in this life, be it for a season or for a while.
You call your saints to walk alone for now, this is your sanctification process for me Lord.
For how can I claim to want to be a Christian if I fail to be a disciple.
And your disciple need to embody two things: discipline & obedience.
You don’t take away the desire. You keep it there.
That it is for me to discipline myself from settling for less and compromising with the world.
And to obey for what you want me to do in front of me.
“No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. ”
This is your Word: I am a soldier under order.
My life I do not own.
All I know is you do not tease me with my desire.
You do not wet my appetite just to turn it away.
For you don’t give me what I want now, for me to truly have what I need.
“It is sooner than you know” You said Lord.
Teach me then Lord, that in giving my life before you.
That I may gain it back fullest—-in You and from You.
If you relate, I find so much comfort in Jesus. So can you,
T.W.
It started with God first asking, "Do you want it?" He asked if I wanted what He has for me. Only when I was ready to say ‘Yes’, the next question He asked , "Do you now see what I want you to have?" And then He asked me "Do you now believe I can give this to you?