What to Do When God Says, "No"

Do you believe God’s rejection could be the most loving thing He does for you?

—

Have you ever felt that when you want to move forward towards something (or someone), you felt uneasy—as if God was not blessing your path forward?

If you have, what should you do if God says ‘No’ to what your heart wants? You may have heard that God will give something or..someone better. Though your mind knows what is true, your heart does not want to move on.

I too didn’t understand.. because I could not see why. I kept languishing what could have been if God did not say ‘No’. My prayer sounded like this: 

Lord I do not want to move on from this ...,I still hope You allow this to work—and believing you can. However, I need to move forward with my life. I still believe if You want, You can change this—but I don’t know if You will. I recognize that my will may not reflect Yours. I am not giving up hope, but I am going to accept Your ‘No’ for now and give my heart to this new life. 

When God says no, you may be going back and forth between what you know is right versus what you want. You let go, but never fully. So you need daily reminders, “I’m ready to move forward. God is saying ‘no’ for now, and I need to accept that and press forward the best I can.”

If God calls you to let go, let go fully. If God calls you to go, don’t look back.

—

Why does God say ‘No’?"

God says ‘no’ to what you wanted now, but He is saying ‘yes’ to the prayer you desire most—that is, to grow in His holiness.

For many of us, because of the pain of not having what we want, we devise a way to escape to not feel what we feel. When we go to meet a need outside of God, that longing is fulfilled. It gets you out…for a little while. It works until it doesn’t. Then you are left chasing something that doesn’t deliver. 

God’s call to obey is itself a grace. In this call, He is actively rescuing you from you. When you are about to choose wrong, His loving, red, lights will pop up to keep you from going where it will lead you astray. The moment we replace God, we will find ourselves a replacement Messiah who offers false promises of life to us. 

In moments of disobedience, I feared that If I keep entertaining what’s not from God—to play with fire where the Lord tells me to walk away— the Lord will give me over to my desire. And this desire will bring destruction, hurt, and pain. Look at the story of Pharaoh, whom after the many times he didn’t heed to Moses’s call to repentance, God gave him over to his desire and Egypt was destroyed (How scary when the Lord no longer disciplines His children and remove His hand of protection).

He is freeing us from our slavery to what is not true and cannot deliver. He is rescuing us from serving what will never give us life. He is protecting us from seeking hope where hope will never be found. 

He knows how short-lived our resolve tends to be. Thus he commands our covenant with Him so that we will not serve other masters who will end up breaking us.  in Romans 5:22, “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.”

You see, God’s call to obey doesn’t end your life, it is meant to protect the life that only he can give you. 

—

The giving of Freedom to Obey is His Act of Love

I remember early in my high school years, my dad would still dictate what I should choose, who I hang out with, and how to spend my time. After coming back from college and having lived with my parents for a while, I was given more freedom in my choice. As we spend more time together, trust was built.

He loves and trusts me. How will it break his heart, if I was lying and go behind his back with the freedom he has given.

The same goes for our Father in Heaven.. He said, ‘Live in freedom, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil (1 Peter 2:16).’

Be careful that what God has allowed you to enjoy doesn’t become a bad habit that controls you. Because God can see further down the road than you can, trust when He says move.

Changing is not something you can do on your own. Change is a daily sanctification process. Ask God to transform you, that you will be renewed in your thinking and know God’s will that is good, acceptable and perfect (Romans 12: 1-2).What does accepting “No for now” look like?

Maybe it looks like putting certain boundaries

Maybe it’s time to move out of your old community and be uncomfortable to find new ones.

Maybe it’s time to stop wishing for that other country and start doing your best in the family in front of you. 

Only God can fill the void you are feeling. In moments of longing, zoom out to see what God desires for you... and know that God is saying: “I know the desires of your heart and trust Me to take care of you. I’m going to supply for your greatest needs, and strength for your weakness.”

Give yourself permission, and time to grieve. It’s not wrong to mourn the loss of something (or someone) you wanted. Feeling sad doesn’t mean you don’t trust God or that you are rebelling against His will for your life. Obedience still comes with a sense of loss.

And after you went through this season, You will be able to testify about God’s faithfulness and protection for you. Though you cannot see what could have been, this you know to be true..

That in the Lord’s path, righteousness is rewarded. 

Prayer: 

Lord I do not honor you merely by slavishly trying to obey you. But my believing fully that your command is the only true way to live and that I will truly find enjoyment and thankfulness in where you call me to obey—for they are for my good. Help me to revel in all you are and have done for me until it awakens joy in my heart. Amen.