A calling beyond my ability, which requires enormous courage and strength.
Knowing the magnitude of the vision I bore, I feared.
"How can I change the world?" "What other books should I read?" "Who else should I meet?" "Which place should I go next?", overly consumed with in my own ways.
Anxiety and worry kept me from sleeping, not living up to Psalm 4:8. I felt unqualified and inadequate, focusing on my weaknesses. Unproductively, I excessively planned for the future, forgetting that this journey requires a leap of faith, too.
“A horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory is from the LORD. “ –Proverbs 21:31
Those things I plan might all go to waste for God has the final say. Planning is important, but perhaps instead of worrying, the better question I should be asking is, “What does God wants me today?”
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them
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God has pre-ordained the days for me. He knows my future. My part is to be faithful in where He has placed me. And in where I am at, I have been graced with the power to be who God wants me to be and do what He wants me to do. To flourish where I am planted. Faithfulness over fruitfulness. Long process of character-building over quick,fleeting results.
Only then does changing the world becomes possible. If enough of us would flourish in compassion, the world would be less wounded. If enough of us would flourish in our homes, we would exemplify to our community of hope and love. If enough of us flourish in the local churches, truly the world will see the light shining like a city on a hill we are called to be.
I cannot imagine that a perfect God, out of His great compassion, would draw near to our weaknesses.What a revelation! I can exchange my lack for his abundance, my fear for his faith, and my timidity for His boldness. In my weaknesses then, His strength shall be glorified all the more. For I am nothing but a broken vessel for honor.
I am reminded to trust my future to God and labor on the now, whilst holding on to His past promises which can not be revoked.
I am reminded that I have been freed from the spirit of fear, but has been given the spirit of God as His child. It is bigger than the giants in my hearts and the world out there. And I am calmed when Christ said He is interceding for us and His Spirit is at work in us, accomplishing His purposes (Romans 8:34) by transforming us into His likeness as we behold Him (2 Cor 3).
I am reassured that though the devils' roar can be deafening and gripping, but while Christ resides in us, the roar has no power. The lions are chained. Christ has the victory.
I can be secure in my calling for no word that come out of His mouth will return to him empty, but will accomplish the purpose for which He sent (Isa 55:11). Fear is crippling, it grieves the Father for us to not trust in Him. Let us walk faithfully ahead then, flourishing where we are planted. Glancing backward every once in a while to remind us of His promises, while smiling heavenward, knowing He who holds our future is faithful. Perfect love indeed casts out fears
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son. And those whom he predestined;he called, and those whom he called; justified, and those whom he justified; glorified.”- Romans 8:28-30