“Very ambitious”, a word I hear over and over when I ask my friends for feedback. I rush from one meeting to the next, with a coffee on one hand and a phone to text on the other. I am passionately driven by my purpose to leave the world a better place, but my unbridled passion was getting me nowhere..fast. I ended up abusing my giftings, am all over the place, and I often misprioritize the most important: the Who more than the What .
My concerned friends would often sit me down to call “time out” on me. I was feeling overwhelmed by the many good choices presented before me when one of them advised: “You have to tune out to tune in to what matters most.” It was a wake up call. As someone who runs 300 mph from projects to projects, how often do I slow down to tune in to what God might be trying to say?
I started the inward path of exploration. Why can’t I stand not doing something? What message do I tell myself ? Where did this come from? The root cause started in childhood. Growing up receiving the message that “I am less loved if I don’t do well”, I subconsciously internalized that others’ love for me is conditional upon my performance. My desire to please was dressed in the performance of good deeds. Thus, I get restless in resting.
Little did I realize that a full schedule doesn’t make me a super hero, it makes me an overwhelmed soul.
Our world is full of exhausted and overstressed adults, raising overscheduled children. Hyperproductivity is the norm and everyone’s chief end seems to be on “IPO”s or “exiting”. The world lures us into thinking there is a treasure chest at the end of life, that we will only be happy when ...........(fill in the blank).
Hear me out, let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as your self-worth.
What is the purpose of life anyway? Is life about gaining? What does God say to be the purpose of men? The Nicene Creed’s answer to that is: to worship God and enjoy Him forever. If this is true, then life is not about gaining, but worshipping. Life becomes less of a train track, but a ferris wheel to enjoy with God. This way, we trust God to turn the page of our lives.
Life is less about us writing our own pages but responding obediently to the One who is turning the pages.
I found freedom knowing Jesus accepts me as I am. He calls me and YOU holy and beloved. Contrary to our world who praises only the powerful and succesful, your accomplishments does not make God love you more and your failures does not make Him love you less. Remember, it was before Jesus started his public ministry that the heavens opened and God the Father said, “This is my Son, in whom I am well pleased.”
For the busy bee like me, may this truth frees you from the burden of trying to impress others with your checklists. You can slow down and enjoy the gift of life. For the anxious, may this also frees you from the fear of the unknown future and living a meaningless life. Know that in every season you can still obey God through trusting Him. If you’re single, you can trust God with a future spouse if He wills it. If you’re job searching, you can rest in knowing even if you don’t get into Bain consulting firm, you can live a God-honoring life.
And when we start to envy others, remind yourself that it is more important to work on our standing with God, than our standing with one another. If this world is not our home, Christians, our job is to be faithful to where He is leading.
X,
Tam
He has taught me to renew my mind, my heart & my strength so that I can live in God’s purpose for me. With a year older, I am a lot less naive and a lot more hopeful still. There’s one thing that never left me, that is wonder. For all this year has to unveil, here is my prayer to the Lord: