I haven’t been well and I wanted to get well. So, I took time away at my favorite location on planet earth, the beach.
As the sun reveals itself in between the blue oceans, I paddled my surf board towards the rays. My eyes quick to examine the waves ahead; my ears attentive to the sound of the breaks. It was the farthest I’ve ever gone in the midst of the deep blue. Scared, yet calmed by the bed of waters that surrounds me.
Surfing, in many ways, teach me about trust.
When I first took surf lessons, I had to trust my instructor to take care of me out there. I had to stand up, just when he asked me to stand. I had to ‘go under’ just in the timing when he told me to. I can’t go too fast or too slow; I had to go just in the timing of the waves.
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Our faith lives are often similar in this way. We started with God being by our sides to guide us each step of the way. Slowly, He lets go off our hands so we can walk on our own two feet.
We fear the unknown yet God seems to always call us deeper and deeper to the ocean of trust and surrender.
Just as the bigger and scarier the waves gets, the more enjoyment and thrill one get. Similarly, the more we paddle deep to where the sea meets the sky, the more we experience God’s beauty and wonder. If we are not attentive however, we could get rolled over by the waves—leaving us exhausted and out of breath. He teaches us His timing and His way.
Going with the flow
Think of a movement away from God as swimming upstream against the current, and movement towards God as riding with the pace of the waves. If we are don’t focus and obey God’s timing, much like missing the timing of the waves, it can be costly.
I have always struggle with anxiety attacks; it hinders me from community and daily activities. When I am honest, I realize it’s caused by the competing loves of my life—security, image, achievements. I had fallen to the ‘achievement trap’, comparing the pace of my career growth to the pace of my peers.
I know my deepest longing is to offer ‘yes’ to be drawn along by the Spirit of God, yet these disordered desires, of wanting earthly desires ultimately more than God and God’s will for me, made me anxious over the unknown future. I lost focus on His pace and His way, losing my balance.
“Purity of heart is to will one thing” - Soren Kierkegaard.
No one can serve two masters; we can only choose the kingdom of God or the kingdom of self. Only when we desire nothing but God can we truly enjoy God’s other blessings. Margaret Silf explains the flow of our spiritual journey:
For those drifting away from God, the action of God in their lives disturbs them and churns up their moods, creating peacelessness.. When they are attending to their own kingdoms, they feel that they are not really living true and they experience inner turnoil”
She continued,
For those whose lives are moving towards God, the opposite effects are apparent: when God is touching them, they feel at peace and they know that somehow they are on solid ground.
Going with the flow of God’s kingdom is floating in the waters of divine love. It is at this state that we are filled with a sense of deep peace and well-being. It’s also here that we feel a heightened sense of compassion and vitality. It’s a moment of God’s gracious presence.
In my own life, I realize when I am in tune with God’s spirit, my writing and other activities leave me feeling whole, energized, and alive. I have a sense of being carried along by the waves of God’s loving will and presence.
Whereas living with a disordered desire has left me drained, anxious, and agitated most of the times. When tempted to be anxious over not meeting KPIs or goals, I can gently place the outcome of what I can’t control to His hands—surrendering my much-loved posture of control and leadership.
The spiritual life is a unified life, oriented around one basic longing. Christian spirituality is a heart and will unified in Christ and oriented towards the loving Father.
“To possess Him who cannot be understood is to renounce all that can be understood. To rest in Him who is beyond all created rest, we renounce the desire to rest in created things.”
A life of trust is a life of rest. A life of surrender is a life of wholeness.
What is the state of your heart and soul? Are there desires that you need to surrender to God and His will?
So let’s set up our sails to go where the wind of the Spirit blows and and to where the waves of faith takes. We cant go too fast, we can’t go too slow, we just have to be just in time and in line with His will.
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I sat on my board, surrounded by the bed of waters, Jesus saying, “Draw near to me and hear me call, ‘I got you my Child’.
X,
Tam