Theology and Apologetics
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walk humbly
How blessings followed after suffering I am yet to see. It is easier to look back to what I have built and dwell on its ashes, rather than chart the uncharted and begin the rebuilding.
John Bunyan wrote on the Pilgrim’s Progress, “You’ll find your steps shallower or deeper as you believe the superiority of the King.” It’s here that He call you to trust.
I wanted to run away from my calling. it has been an extremely difficult path that constantly humbles me to my knees.
Fear has taken a grip on me. The fear is not fearing personal failure as it once had been. It’s the fear of risking the livelihood of 30 other people in the team.
These are 3 things to hold on to when you want to quit your calling:
"You’re not fast enough. You’re not big enough. You’re not profitable enough,” dictates culture. Even if you’re probably doing everything right, there’s constant pressure to how you’re supposed to run the race. It drove me to work really long hours. The over-time consequence? I am unable to rest and undividedly "waste time” with the Lord. Always distracted. Always hurried.
The work is certainly rewarding, though it is hard work. Not that it is difficult because God calls me to do things I am not equipped for — rather He has been kind to sharpen the gifts in me—, it is hard because it is tiring. God does equip me, but there are definitely days where things are overwhelming.
The Christian life is a journey, where we find God more than enough in every season. Let it be our remembrance: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecc 3: 1-2).
This heart of learning He plants. This spirit of His He stored. This body of mine He prepared for His Kingdom come. I am planted not buried.
Often, we think of calling as “the voice coming down from heaven in thunders”. That might be the case for Paul on the road to Damascus. For many of us today, calling is to be discovered one day at a time.
“Am I a failure that I didn’t win the title ‘Miss Indonesia’?”, “Am I a failure that I didn’t get chosen as an Indonesian delegate to the Y20 Summit?” These were questions that lingered within as I processed the so-called “failures”. Here are 3 things that I learn from failing.
“What kind of job should I pursue?”,“How do I define success?”, “What should my motivation be?” After almost 20 years being in a system where my achievements are graded with clear expectations, I never had to worry where life was headed. When that constant is taken away, I was left with these questions.
